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Between me and you. [Friday July 28th, 2006 12:38pm] [ mood | dirty ] ATTENTION: Becca has two new celebrity crushes. Well to some, they're not very new. Ryan Donowho <333 + Adam Brody. HOT. SEX. seriously. i'm in love with them. last night, i woke up at 3:00 in the morning. because my teeth hurt like a mofo. seriously. it was like the worst toothache ever. damnbraces. READ (7) CMNT

[Monday July 24th, 2006 12:00am] [ mood | pissed off ] [ music | iris- the goo goo dolls ] For some reason, my font on my computer is small. I like it. I like small font because I dunno, I feel neat and orderly with it. Yeah. That didn't sound weird at all. All I did today was clean. Play on the computer. And then Myspace shut off. So it hasn't been two years. It's been five years. She has a daughter. And he's twice her age. My father is pathetic. He wants me to meet her. He wants her to be a part of my life. WTH. Why would I want that? I hate this woman. Why would I want to be with someone who called my mom trash, slutty, ugly, bitchy, fat? If I ever do meet her. I will scream so loud. I will unleash all the pain my dad has put on me. I'm not the old Becca I used to be. I've got anger in me. And I'm taking it out on the wrong people. Maybe I need therapy. No. I need my dad to tell me why he did this. I need to tell my dad that because of him, I feel like crying every night. Because of him, I don't have a proper father. Because of him, my family is broken. My family is messed up. I want a family. I have my cousins who treat me like shit in person. And then bug me on the computer. "You're a girl...go away, you don't need to hear this." Fucking assholes. See? I feel like cussing everyone out. I need help. No, I need closure. I need one night where I don't hear her screaming at him on the phone. I need one night where I don't hear doors slammed or my mom crying. "I'm not trying to get you involved." What the hell mom. I'm involved.  She tells me everything. I'm 14 years old, I don't need to hear it. I'm supposed to be enjoying my youth. But I can't even have a drama free day. Even if I hang with my friends, I go back home to hell. I haven't even talked to my best friend in forever. I don't know what she's up to. Maybe it's my fault. I've been stressed. I would call her. But I dunno. I feel like she wouldn't pick up. And there would be an awkward silence. Is that what's gonna happen when I go back to high school? Will people notice I've changed? Will it just be awkward silences? Five. whole. fucking. years. So he's been fucking around since I was...10. or 11. Jesus. I'm going to throw up. 10. 11. I hugged him. He told my mom he loved her. While really at night he went on the computer and talked dirty to this FUCKING INTERNET WHORE. you don't find love on the internet. you just don't. fuckfuckfuck. fuckhim. ihatehim. ihatehim. FUCK FUCK FUCK. i want to scream right now. I HATE HIM. I HATE HIM. i hate the fucking fucker. i hope he and this lady meet. and she's fucking ugly. and has fucking warts all over her face. and he is miserable. for everything he's put me and my mom through. the fucking stupid asshole. fuck is fun to say when you're pissed. READ (4) CMNT

taste the rainbow [Sunday March 19th, 2006 12:16pm] [ mood | confused ] How can I make fan-made music videos? <3 READ (1) CMNT

[Monday February 27th, 2006 9:20pm] OMG. MODEL BEHAVIOUR WITH DANIEL CLARK. I love Disney Channel READ (4) CMNT

Take my hand, live while you can [Saturday February 25th, 2006 11:27am] [ mood | groggy ] I had a dream last night. I was with my friends, running up these hills because I had just discovered that I didn't have to move to New York, away from my friends. We were celebrating...well, mostly Bry seemed happy in my dream, nobody else did. But it was me, Corrine, Melanie, Lucia, and Bry and it was snowing. Yeah, I know. In Florida? Anyway, we were running up this hill and Melanie mentioned how awesome it would feel to run back down the hills. Flowers started appearing everywhere and I mean, everywhere. Every time of flower was in my dream and Corrine started to laugh and led the way, us following after her. I remember feeling pumped and excited, like I was about to do the coolest thing in the world. When we jumped off the hill, we started to fall and I tried to scream, but I couldn't. I felt scared for one second then felt amazingly free as I was falling. & then my dream ended. READ (7) CMNT

Friends Only [Sunday January 22nd, 2006 2:36pm] [ mood | guilty ] [ music | Spanish Music ] Comment To Be Added, WHORES   :)   Psst..Corrine...I didn't take one of your banners because I didn't really think any of them fit into my journal. Plus, most of them were bands I didn't even know. Sorry. :( But everyone...check out the hottest girl ever ((My best friend, Corrine))'s LJ Friends Only Banners Community. READ (14) CMNT

[Sunday January 22nd, 2006 1:48pm] test READ (0) CMNT

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